My point with bringing up Strength and women isn't to be misogynistic in any form or shape. I certainly don't advocate telling players wishing to play female PCs that they must accept a debilitating Strength penalty.
I am using the example as an analogy to show how illogical it is to slap a (significant) Speed penalty onto Dwarves without also slapping a (significant) Strength penalty onto females.
For the purposes of crushing the "realism" argument, that is, and for no other reason.
Feel free to have as slow Dwarfs as you like for all I care. Just don't kid yourself into believing that you made the "realistic" choice - unless you accept that you singled out this particular case and ignored others, including that of female strength. Out of a dozen physical "truths" begging for special rules treatment you picked one and ignored the others.
Secondly, I could argue that the average strength difference between males and females (in humans, at least; can't say much about imaginary races here...) is so pronounced that, for purposes of "realism", you should add that first, way sooner than any speed difference. The average female possesses much less muscle mass than the average male (yep, even in this age of office workers and rpg nerds!).
Thirdly, I could also bring up the argument that's already been made above: perhaps Dwarves are built differently than humans? How can you say it's "realistic" that they move slower than humans?! No of course you can't. You like it better so you (mis)use the word realistic to support your opinion.
What you can and should do is go "I prefer my Dwarfs to be slow" or "I like to go with genre conventions", dropping any pretense of "realism" and objective truth. What you prefer is none of my business, and thus it's perfectly okay to have slow Dwarfs but strong women.
Let me say that again.
TL; DR: It's perfectly okay - preferable even - to have equality between sexes and inequality between "races" (species really). Just don't bring out the "realism" card in one case when you aren't willing to do it in the other. Thank you.
Best regards and happy gaming
Zapp





